Monday, November 8, 2010


So, it's a special day at the Destroyers'* household today. Seven years ago this evening, we had our first date. And two years ago today, we got married!

It's been quite a time - I was 19 and working at the Java Joint, and had just made some SERIOUS life changes. He was 22, worked at Dairy Queen, and had just gotten his drivers' license.

Seriously, we dressed like this every day. I have people who can vouch for this.
Then I worked in a miserable factory for a year, going to bed at 8:30 and getting up at 4:45 in the morning. Brian got his first job at a bike shop. Then I decided to go to college, and we were apart for 5 months before Brian moved in with me in Crookston, MN (population: 8,000). Brian busted his ass to make ends meet while I completed my bachelor's degree in social work. I was able to take 18-22 credits every semester because I knew Brian had my back (and he hated living in ND!).

Winnipeg Skate Park


Our engagement photo!

On a snowy New Year's Eve Eve (December 30, 2006), I told Mr. Hotpants that I couldn't start a new year without knowing he would be my husband. He said yes! (and offered me a ring 6 months later).

We moved to Duluth in 2008 for my master's in social work. A few months later, we got married on a cold (32 degree) day at Grand Superior Lodge in Castle Danger, MN!

You bet your ass I knitted a shawl. November in MN is cold, sukka!

The past two years have seen more changes - a serious injury, surgery, and recovery for Brian, finishing my master's, moving to St. Cloud, getting a decent job and then getting laid off, going BACK to school... what will come next?!?!

Brian continues to be an amazing partner, best friend, and sweetheart. I was thinking the other day about how when my mom was born, marriage was an instrument for the oppression of women. (Seriously, this is the shit I think about in my down time.) And how women like my gramma, my mom, and others helped recreate and redefine marriage in a way that allows for equality in labor and in love for men and women in marriage. Because of their efforts, I can make choices about working inside and outside the home, control conception, maintain my own finances, and have a say in joint decision-making. While we've come a long way, marriage continues to be a tool to discriminate against lesbians and gay men and there's more work to be done in that arena so that all Americans have the right to have their love recognized as legitimate and valued.

I am proud to be able to co-define what our marriage is and will be, and who I am in that relationship. I am honored to be a partner to Brian Husbeast Hotpants, and I think we ROCK!

Here's to many more years with the one I love. Happy nannerversary, lovebug!

*Destroyers was one of the last names we considered when we got married, because neither of us wanted to change our names to each others' last name. We ended up keeping our own names!

P.S. I finished my NaKniSweMo sweater #1!!! Wahoo!


  1. Woo-hoo! You guys so totally DO rock!

    Happy anniversaries!

  2. Yay! Happy anniversary and great post!

  3. Awesome! A bit late, but happy anniversary :)